Thank you Tracy Emin

16 Mar

After a particularly bad night of sleep disturbance I finally, reluctantly got up to face the day.  The first thing I faced was the detritus that is my bedroom.  Not having much cupboard space in this tiny house means clothes, books, knick-knacks etc are strewn around the place.  I groaned but then a sudden thought sprung to mind. Hey!  I was actually standing in the middle of a work of art!  If it’s good enough for Tracy Emin and her fans, well it’s good enough for me!  Oh, joy! 


This got me thinking about modern art.  As Marshall McLuhan said, ‘Art is what you can get away with.’  And I wished I’d known that when I was a kid and my mother used to nag me to tidy my room.  So, I thought, what else have people gotten away with.  Well, there was Chris Ofili who incorporated elephant dung into his depiction of the Virgin Mary.  Then there was Andres Serrano who dropped a plastic crucifix into a jar of his own urine and called it Piss Christ.  How about Rick Gibson who turned two freeze dried human foetuses into earrings for a manikin?  Maybe not.  He only got away with it after a court case and appeal.  Oh, let’s not  forget Damien Hurst who cut a pregnant cow in two and pickled it.  Personally I think God should have sued him for plagiarism and I’m not sure if that was more vetinary anatomy than art., but hey, the ‘experts’ loved it.


Anyway, I decided to look at the world a little differently.  If all those examples were art then surely, apart from my messy bedroom, I should be able to find more objet d’art around the house.  As I was thinking this I smelled the awful aroma of cat poo drifting up my nostrils.

  Bloody cats!  They’ve taken to staying in over the winter so a litter tray has been provided for their toiletry needs.  Time to go and clean it out!   Then it struck me.  If elephant dung is artistic, what about cat poo?

Donning my marigolds and grabbing a black plastic rubbish bag I made my way to the litter tray.  The feline deposits were gently nestled on a bed of Morrison’s anti-bacterial cat litter.  Viewing them from every angle I decided that I could see the outline of a mushroom cloud!  Brilliant.  I could enter this into an art competition and call it ‘CATastrophe’. 

Now all I have to do is find a place that can freeze dry it for me….but on second thoughts, I really don’t want that lingering aroma around while I find such a place. Ho hum, into the bin with a potentially world class work of art.  Off to tackle that sink full of dishes…..hmmmm….I wonder……





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